HUMAN CONNECTIVITY CONSERVATIONIST

This week, our country celebrated Martin Luther King Day.  In Seattle there was a march, online there were countless images and powerful quotes shared, throughout the country people entered theaters to watch Selma, a powerful movie depicting Martin Luther King’s campaign to secure equal voting rights via an epic 54-mile, 5-day march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama.  I took my family to the movie and was moved to tears by the end of the film.  To read and hear the words of MLK, Jr., to be reminded of the courage of the human spirit to stand up and peacefully demonstrate for equal rights, fair treatment and hope for opportunity, to share this history with new generations...all of this is so inspiring.  But what about today and tomorrow… next month and in August??  The inspirations fade to the background and are replace with prejudice, presumption, fear, unrest, demonstrations, anger, resentment, questioning…We are approaching the 40 year anniversary of one of this country’s greatest peacemaker and I am saddened that, although progress has happened, prejudice continues to be pervasive in our society.  How can this move from conversations & inspirations to new & different actions to create change?

I am constantly wondering if pre-judgment is instinctual.  I know, as much as I hate to admit it, I make presumption about people ALL THE TIME  that keep me distant from them.  Depending on the day I am having, an experience from my youth, the choices I lean towards, the media I intake, the stories or gossip I have heard, I pre-judge even though I know that it is not fair, I DO IT. (My list of pre-judgment is long…I just based on religion, economics, age, race, education, beauty, material objects, associations, political choices, eating styles, occupation, culture…these are only top of mind topics, I am sure I could go on and on)  Sometimes I do it to make myself feel better about me and my life.  Sometimes, if I internally disparage someone else, I can avoid focusing on my own faults.  It allows me to justify keeping my wall up.  It really takes courage and consciousness to push the assumptions aside and connect (which, crazily, isn’t that difficult to do).  I would venture to guess that the majority of the times this happens in an honest, open way the prejudices fall away and the discovery of similarity or a learning moment happen.  But it takes work.  In the past few years, I am now realizing, I am becoming less and less tolerant of my instinctual dialogue, ignoring it and listening to another voice.  “Say hello, tell them you like their hat, their smile, their shoes.  Share what is on your mind and see what they think about it instead of assuming you know their answer.  Why are you holding back…just do it.”  Seriously, I have some little dialogue with myself.  9 out of 10 times when I open up to someone new, I get back way more than I ever could have imagined.  And I have a new, lived experience to counter stories I may have hear 2^nd hand, from the news or on social media.   I am dispelling the perception I had with the reality I experience.

Have we been conditioned since our youth to accept perception instead of discovering reality?  We all know perception is never the reality, so why do we accept it?  We are bombarded daily with information to help us form perceptions.  Do we question our perception?  That takes more work.  That takes putting ourselves in uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations.

Here is a quick example that just popped into my head…from the global news, we tend to paint wide swaths…Islam terrorist killed 12 Parisians—Our societal take away…Islam is a crazy religion filled with violent followers.  Be guarded and questioning of all Islamic people.  Instead, we should realize that incident, those 2 Islamic men are the anomaly.  2 men in a population of exceeding 1.5 BILLION Islams (a quarter of the world population).  TWO radicals.  Two bad apples.  They cannot be our sole representation of Islam.  But we allow the news to sink in and be our knowledge, build our fear, keep us separate…this happens every single day just insert a different identifying factor (black, dropout, millionaire, Mormon, Russian, post-partum mom, unemployed man, politician, welfare…you choose the descriptive, there will always be a bad, horrific story to tag on and allow us to form our perception of that “group”).

So, I sit here super sad when I think about the vision, dreams, wisdom, inspiration and leadership Martin Luther King shared with our country 50 years ago because I see our behaviors and disconnection countering what I believe all human beings hope for and want to believe in.  We remember and celebrate MLK, we teach our children his words…but what we do with our actions will always be more powerful than anything we can pass on with words.  But, just like it was required of him to be great, it is required of us…it requires courage to reflect on our behavior and try something a little different. 

I, for one am experiencing the benefits every single day because I am trying to put myself out there.  Trying to ignore my prejudice and connect.  In person, online…wherever.  It isn’t easy.  Lots of times I want to shut down and listen to my negative instinctual voice, but I have had way too many experiences now to know that it is worth the effort.  Human connectivity really, really matters and can change lives.  And I know it can change our world to be the world MLK envisioned. 

What do you think?  Are you in?  Let me know…