***If you have limited time, skip reading my thoughts and go directly to this article, "Hello, Stranger".
In the last few years, people very close (i.e. husband & long time friends) to me have questioned my need for meeting new people, connecting with strangers, having coffee with someone I barely knew. They assumed I must have some agenda that would be met or why would I be wasting my time? I found myself becoming more and more frustrated with myself because I could not articulate a solid answer for them. I began to feel guilty about my actions. I began to question myself. Why couldn't I just be satisfied with all the great people in my life?
The quick assumption that I was such an extrovert did not give me resolve. For me, introvert vs. extrovert oversimplifies the need to connect with people (and sometimes provides an excuse for not connecting). I have never viewed myself as an extrovert because I have introverted tendencies as well. When people would say, "Tara, you can meet people because you are so extroverted. It is easier for you, I could never do that." I would try and tell them it was not easy for me. I have not always been so open. And with each person I open up to or approach, I have to fight my internal dialogue about what I think they may think of me or how stupid I may come off being. Those feelings never go away. But I have learned that most of the time I gain so much more than the potential embarrassment, judgement or dismissiveness I had imagined would happen.
For the past few year, all I could answer was that new people, new perspectives, new experiences fueled me. For me (and those closest to me), that answer falls like a pile of poop on the floor...totally inconclusive. And it made me feel like I did not value or care for the people I have in my life.
I considered ways to temper my passion for meeting new people:
Last night, I was forwarded this NY Times article, "Hello, Stranger". It struck a major chord with me. I love that people are studying connectivity and happiness. Now, if we can all put some of their study exercises into practice without a reward of gift cards, I am sure the world would begin spinning a little smoother. Happiness would grow and connectivity would increase. Two of the most essential ingredients of life! I felt like this article perfectly articulated what I struggled behavior I that fuels my soul.
In closing, I want to share a personal added significance to having this article brought to my attention. It as forwarded to my by a beautiful, bright young woman, Catherine Roseman, who recently graduated from an east coast university. Because my project has me meeting and befriending strangers, Catherine came into my life. I met her mom while walking dogs in the park near my home. Over the years, as we randomly crossed paths, she would share with me the highs and lows of her daughter heading to and through college. One day, she shared her thoughts that Catherine would be interested in the work I was trying to do. Catherine had the fortitude to follow up on her mom's thoughts and knocked on my door at the beginning of her sophomore summer. For the past two summers, she has worked with me and provide me with reassurance that my ideas are worth pursuing even when I clearly have no idea what direction I am going. Yesterday, we sat and talked for a few hours about where we are at in life--the unnerving stage of finding employment or the next stepping stone in life for her and my desire to pursue my passion that has me feeling uneasy, as well as the mundane topics of raising and educating kids. There is not an agenda either of us is trying to achieve through our connection except for sharing and learning from each other. The conversation was stimulating and a reminder of how difficult every stage of life is, but also how fortunate we are to be living it and if we keep moving forward our current worries will resolve. When Catherine left, I felt honored she would want to spend time with someone almost twice her age--I am not sure I would have found the courage to do that at her age. She inspires me to keep moving forward instead of spinning in my insecurities. And then she forwards me an article that helps me validate my own beliefs. All of this received because I was open to talking with strangers. Catherine Roseman, you are an angelic reminder to continue putting one step in front of the other and be open to the people and possibilities in my every day!
In the last few years, people very close (i.e. husband & long time friends) to me have questioned my need for meeting new people, connecting with strangers, having coffee with someone I barely knew. They assumed I must have some agenda that would be met or why would I be wasting my time? I found myself becoming more and more frustrated with myself because I could not articulate a solid answer for them. I began to feel guilty about my actions. I began to question myself. Why couldn't I just be satisfied with all the great people in my life?
 |
| Maya Angelou |
The quick assumption that I was such an extrovert did not give me resolve. For me, introvert vs. extrovert oversimplifies the need to connect with people (and sometimes provides an excuse for not connecting). I have never viewed myself as an extrovert because I have introverted tendencies as well. When people would say, "Tara, you can meet people because you are so extroverted. It is easier for you, I could never do that." I would try and tell them it was not easy for me. I have not always been so open. And with each person I open up to or approach, I have to fight my internal dialogue about what I think they may think of me or how stupid I may come off being. Those feelings never go away. But I have learned that most of the time I gain so much more than the potential embarrassment, judgement or dismissiveness I had imagined would happen.
For the past few year, all I could answer was that new people, new perspectives, new experiences fueled me. For me (and those closest to me), that answer falls like a pile of poop on the floor...totally inconclusive. And it made me feel like I did not value or care for the people I have in my life.
I considered ways to temper my passion for meeting new people:
- I have always been streetsmart not booksmart...maybe if I read more I would not need to meet as many people to fill me with knowledge.
- Focus more time on my family.
- Do more GAMES Magazine puzzles from the stacks that have piles up untouched over the years.
- Rekindle my love of knitting.
Last night, I was forwarded this NY Times article, "Hello, Stranger". It struck a major chord with me. I love that people are studying connectivity and happiness. Now, if we can all put some of their study exercises into practice without a reward of gift cards, I am sure the world would begin spinning a little smoother. Happiness would grow and connectivity would increase. Two of the most essential ingredients of life! I felt like this article perfectly articulated what I struggled behavior I that fuels my soul.
In closing, I want to share a personal added significance to having this article brought to my attention. It as forwarded to my by a beautiful, bright young woman, Catherine Roseman, who recently graduated from an east coast university. Because my project has me meeting and befriending strangers, Catherine came into my life. I met her mom while walking dogs in the park near my home. Over the years, as we randomly crossed paths, she would share with me the highs and lows of her daughter heading to and through college. One day, she shared her thoughts that Catherine would be interested in the work I was trying to do. Catherine had the fortitude to follow up on her mom's thoughts and knocked on my door at the beginning of her sophomore summer. For the past two summers, she has worked with me and provide me with reassurance that my ideas are worth pursuing even when I clearly have no idea what direction I am going. Yesterday, we sat and talked for a few hours about where we are at in life--the unnerving stage of finding employment or the next stepping stone in life for her and my desire to pursue my passion that has me feeling uneasy, as well as the mundane topics of raising and educating kids. There is not an agenda either of us is trying to achieve through our connection except for sharing and learning from each other. The conversation was stimulating and a reminder of how difficult every stage of life is, but also how fortunate we are to be living it and if we keep moving forward our current worries will resolve. When Catherine left, I felt honored she would want to spend time with someone almost twice her age--I am not sure I would have found the courage to do that at her age. She inspires me to keep moving forward instead of spinning in my insecurities. And then she forwards me an article that helps me validate my own beliefs. All of this received because I was open to talking with strangers. Catherine Roseman, you are an angelic reminder to continue putting one step in front of the other and be open to the people and possibilities in my every day!
No comments:
Post a Comment